Last week I held a workshop around finding your passions and purpose after the kids move on. The group went along willingly with a series of exercises to determine where they were now on the passion scale, and where they wanted to be.
First – to get us rolling, I reviewed what foods contribute to passion. A bit off topic but VERY interesting – and everyone stopped talking and paid attention. Here’s a list with a few surprises:
Almonds – the scent of almonds is purported to excite women – which is why it’s used widely in soaps and creams. Be careful you’re being manipulated! Also, didn’t Sherlock Holmes say that people poisoned with Cyanide smelled like almonds??? Be careful.
Asparagus – apparently has a long history as a stimulant. In France in the 19th century it was customary for a bridegroom’s last mean before his wedding to have three courses of hut asparagus! Yum.
Avocado – the Aztecs called this fruit ahucati (which is the name of a particular hanging part of the male anatomy). Later, the Spanish actually spread the word about its stimulating power. Catholic priests forbade indulging in its green flesh.
Bananas – hmm, what can I say here. We’ll skip the shape comments and talk about an alkaloid compound ‘bufotenine’ (named for Joey Butofuco?) in bananas which is supposedly a sex drive booster. Legend has it that the serpent that tempted Eve his in a bunch of bananas – wonder what legend that is.
Carrots – not only good for they eyes, the ancient Greeks said every inch of a carrot is rich in aphrodisiac properties. They ate the roots, seeds and greens when prepping for orgies.
Celery – apparently in Sweden the stimulating effects of Celery are well known. The author Hagdahl described it as ‘straightforward arousing’. The seeds are especially potent – be sure to drop them into breads or salad dressing when the mood moves you.
Chocolate – of course, this is the queen of aphrodisiacs. Casanova was said to be a serious chocolate addict, always enjoying a truffle or two before his amorous adventures. This too was once banned in monasteries.
Sounds like it’s time for a salad with nuts>
No matter what passion enhancer you might use, the point is – once you no longer need to nurture your family to feel fulfillment – what do you do with your life? What gives you the same level of dedication, satisfaction, joy, and purpose? Who do you want to be in the next phase of your life? How do you become clear on what you really want – so you can move toward attaining it?
One simple but very helpful exercise is from the Passion Test by Janet Atwood. She asks readers to finish the following sentence: When my life is ideal, I am _______. For some it’s easy to complete the sentence, for others – it was surprisingly difficult. There’s no limit to how many you can write down, there’s also no limit to “how” you would accomplish it, just the “what” you would like to be or do.
Tips:
1) Begin your phrase with a verb that relates to being, doing or having.
2) Write at least ten (more if you’d like).
3) Close your eyes and picture your ideal life. What are you doing? Who are you with? Where are you? How do you feel?
4) Don’t censor or limit your ideas, you don’t need to know the how, just the what.
5) It will be easier if you don’t consult with anyone, this is about the things that light your fire, go deep inside and connect with what is truly the most important to you.
6) Don’t take the test as a couple, later you can share your passions with your spouse or partner.
7) Best to do this in one sitting. It should only take twenty to thirty minutes. It’s fine to go back and revise.
8) Write short clear sentences, avoid combining several passions in one such as “I am enjoying my ideal relationship, traveling the world first class and living in a beautiful home overlooking the ocean” Break each passion down and list it separately, e.g. I am traveling the world first class.
Here are some examples (it’s ok for yours to be much wilder):
• When my life is ideal, I am writing successful mystery novels
• …working in a nurturing environment with lots of plants and light
• …spending lots of quality time with my family
• …enjoying perfect health
• …becoming the next Secretary of State
Give it a try and let me know what you come up with.
Joan Sherlock
